At Ryman Premier League Wealdstone, who have some of the most passionate, hardcore fans you'll ever come across, whenever an opposing player is injured, the home fans start humming the death march:

"Der der der-der der der-der der-der der-der DIE!"

They also sing:

"Swallow your tongue,

Swallow your tongue, you ****".

Believe me, it's very funny.

My favourite was always this though [and yes, I know it's been mentioned already - but Wealdstone do it better than anyone else I reckon]:

I'm Brentford till I die I'm Brentford till I die I know I am I'm sure I am I'm Brentford till I die.

• 4

Two little boys, had two little toys

• 5

Come on you reds! or Come on Brentford! Don't make it too difficult for them...

• 6

So macho ,verses 1 and 4 only whilst holding hands with the nearest bloke.

• 7

I can never remember the words of:

"I said to my mum the other day I think I`ve found the new Pele She said to me what is his name I said he`s called sam sodje!"

Can anybody correct the above please?

• 9

Martin Rowland is a ******, is a *****

• 10

My fave, but seldom heard:

"We are the famous, the famous Brentford" Clap Clap Clap Clap

Repeat till hands hurt.

• 11

  Ace Face said:

I can never remember the words of:

"I said to my mum the other day I think I`ve found the new Pele She said to me what is his name I said he`s called sam sodje!"

Can anybody correct the above please?

I think it's:

I said to my mum the other day, I think I've seen the new Pele, She said to me who is he, I said his name is Sam Sodje!​

• 12

A chant that I had not heard for donkeys years at SMS last Saturday ...

" Your Gonna Get Your F****** 'eads Kicked In "

• 13

Here is one for all you part-timers out there.

Deano Deano we want a goal and we want one now, not one not two, not three, but four - to the tune of the Trio choccy adverts

Or hows about.

Marcus Gayle, Marcus Gayle, Marcus Gayle's got a massive cock, what a penis, you should have fooking seen us, Marcus Gayle's got a massive cock - to the tune of Marcus Gayle's got a massive cock.

• 14

  nocoat said:

Marcus Gayle, Marcus Gayle, Marcus Gayle's got a massive cock, what a penis, you should have fooking seen us, Marcus Gayle's got a massive cock - to the tune of Marcus Gayle's got a massive cock.

Why what were you doing with it?

• 15

  nocoat said:

Here is one for all you part-timers out there.

Deano Deano we want a goal and we want one now, not one not two, not three, but four - to the tune of the Trio choccy adverts

Or hows about.

Marcus Gayle, Marcus Gayle, Marcus Gayle's got a massive cock, what a penis, you should have fooking seen us, Marcus Gayle's got a massive cock - to the tune of Marcus Gayle's got a massive cock.

Days of Chomps and boat trips to Southend coutesy of Mr. B.G.

The H

poker semi-professional

• 17

  nocoat said:

Here is one for all you part-timers out there.

Deano Deano we want a goal and we want one now, not one not two, not three, but four - to the tune of the Trio choccy adverts

Or hows about.

Marcus Gayle, Marcus Gayle, Marcus Gayle's got a massive cock, what a penis, you should have fooking seen us, Marcus Gayle's got a massive cock - to the tune of Marcus Gayle's got a massive cock.

la la la la la booker

• 18

da da da da da ..Barry Ashby

• 19

Sack the board Sack the board Sack the board

Sack the board Sack the board Sack the board

The H

poker semi-professional

• 21

A definite oldie but goodie:

"Talk about Pele, Talk about Cruyff, Talk about Beckenbauer...Talk about Batesey, that's a different matter, he's the best by far...It's Batesey, Batesey, Jamie, Jamie Batesey, It's Jamie Batesey"

I'm sure it was to the tune of some breakfast cereal around in the late 80's or early 90's.

• 22

  Leicester Bee said:

A definite oldie but goodie:

"Talk about Pele, Talk about Cruyff, Talk about Beckenbauer...Talk about Batesey, that's a different matter, he's the best by far...It's Batesey, Batesey, Jamie, Jamie Batesey, It's Jamie Batesey"

I'm sure it was to the tune of some breakfast cereal around in the late 80's or early 90's.

The original went "It's tasty, tasty, very very tasty, it's very tasty". No idea what it was for though.

• 23

Kellogs Crunchy Nut Cornflakes ?

• 24

Owned by pervert, run by slag, Birmingham City!

Fulham are you listening? To the song that we're singing. We're walking along, singing a song, sh*tting on the Fulham once again.

And, I'm sure these are the alternative words to the You're A Northern Bastard song, specially reserved for the yokels:

"Get back home, from the farm, watch the Krypton Factor... Back down farm, shag a sheep, Oi can droive a tractor"

• 25

  Leicester Bee said:

A definite oldie but goodie:

"Talk about Pele, Talk about Cruyff, Talk about Beckenbauer...Talk about Batesey, that's a different matter, he's the best by far...It's Batesey, Batesey, Jamie, Jamie Batesey, It's Jamie Batesey"

I'm sure it was to the tune of some breakfast cereal around in the late 80's or early 90's.

This was sung by about 5 people and ignored by the rest. The famous 5 then gave up.

• 26

lol Never heard the Krypton factor bit!

You look in the dustbin for summat to eat you find a dead rat and you think its a treat in your ....town name........... slums

• 27

This thread just reminds me how poor we are at coming up with songs for the current crop of players. "Dobbo, Dobbo" "Deon, Deon" "Sodje, Sodje" just don't measure up.

• 28

Ooooh Bobby Taylor Ooooh Bobby Taylor Ooooh Bobby Taylor in the back of the net

yeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

• 29

I remember St Andrew's away, and 2700 Bees fans singing, "Barry Fry is a clown, is a clown, Barry Fry is a clown, is a clown, and Karen Brady is a fookin' slag, Barry Fry is a clown, is a clown." To the tune of a goal is all we need, or heads, shoulders, knees and toes, if you were subjected to the kind of kiddie's tv that I had to put up with when I was younger.

• 30

you need to slip in a bit about there being a circus in the town in the town I think Leicester

• 31

  nocoat said:

you need to slip in a bit about there being a circus in the town in the town I think Leicester

I don't have a memory, unlike the rest of you lot! I barely remember being at St Andrews that evening anyway. All I remember was being chased all the way back to New Street after I got lost walking back to the station. This was after we were kept in for what seemed like hours after the game. What a great thread this is. My failing memory is really being re-ignited again.

Another one, which was heard against Southampton, was the Bananrama tune:

Na-na-nana, Na-na-nana, way-eh-o, Brentford FC.

• 32

To Paul Smith "Paul Smith, we only wear Paul Smith, we only wear Paul Smith" - to the tune of "there's only one Paul Smith

To Mark Williams "many Mark Williams, there are many Mark Williams, many Mark Williams" - to the tune of "there's only one Mark Williams"

• 33

Yeah LB, we are definitely straying into memory lane territory.. sorry mbatupbee

here is an up-to-date one for you...

She wore she wore she wore a red and white she wore a red and white ribbon in the merry month of may and, when, I asked her why she wore that ribbon. she said its for my brentford and we are going to wem-ber-lee

wem-ber-lee etc...

• 34

A goal, a goal is all we need, all we need, To seeeeee our team to victory, victory, And if you think we're wrong, Why don't you come along? To seeeeee the team that we support, we support.

We are B-R-E-N-T-F-O-R-D Our name is Brentford, We're the best team in the land-land-land........

• 35

Oh the famous Graham Taylor went to Rome to see the Pope Oh the famous Graham Taylor went to Rome to see the Pope Oh the famous Graham Taylor went to Rome to see the Pope and this is what he said "F*** OFF" whose that team we call the Brentford whose that team we all adore we're the boys in red and white and we're f***ing dynamite and Ron Noades mother is a whore

• 36

wasn't it "two dean martins?" [and i do remember an away game at Stockport where "that's amore" was a constant].

and who can forget the classic: "if you've had Karen Brady clap your hands".

sadly i think the only chant that i really feel possesive of is "It's all your fault!" - which seemed to start at a home game v Swindon a couple of years ago when Gremink had a nightmare [almost as much a one as i've had trying to spell his name].

otherwise - all this "we're by far the greatest team, the world has ever seen" stuff doesn't work for me [unless we caveat Real Madrid of the 60's, Brazil of the 70's, Liverpool of the 80's, AC Milan of the 90's etc etc etc etc] - now if we went for a "we're by far the greatest team, this GROUND has ever seen" then i might be able to live with that.

chants NEVER to be repeated please include: "there were 5 iraqi bombers in the air..." [what was that about?].

and i agree with the point about songs for players - i remember first time i went to Everton i was amazed that the crowd had a song for every single player!

• 37

There is a circus in the town [in the town] And Barry Fry is the clown [is the clown] And Karren Brady is a f*cking slag Birmingham are staying down [staying down]

I think that's what you were thinking of, Leicester Bee!

I was reminded of this one on Saturday when we discovered that at least in Southampton, they still only cost 10p!

Good old Brentford, they're the team for me They score a goal We throw our Chomps They only cost 10p.

• 38

  Stuardo said:

sadly i think the only chant that i really feel possesive of is "It's all your fault!" - which seemed to start at a home game v Swindon a couple of years ago when Gremink had a nightmare [almost as much a one as i've had trying to spell his name].

Modern classic that is now sadly overused. Leave it for real blunders lads.

• 39

  Simon C said:

Modern classic that is now sadly overused. Leave it for real blunders lads.

Save it for Griemink. He was singularly the worst keeper ever to have performed as badly as he did against us 3 times in a row. For Peterborough, and Swindon twice.

• 40

My favourite tune, is a non stop version of...

''We are Brentford Super Brentford, Super Bees. We are Brentford Super Brentford, We are Brentford Super Bees.....WE ARE Brentford super Brentford Super Bees, We are Brentford Super Brentford. We are Brentford Super Bees''

I dont think i sing the right words to this song but i still like singing

''Ohh me lads you should have seen us coming, red and white was everywhere and everyone was running. All the Watford rookery with blood upon their faces.........All because they tried to take. The Ealing headcases''

''inbred till you die, you've only got one eye. You shag your mum you shag your dad your inbred till you die''

BANNANARAMA

''la la la la, la la la la heeeeeeeeeeeeeeey Brentford fc''

• 41

We are the Brentford and We are the best We are the Brentford So F**K all the rest F**K 'em all F**K 'em all Chelsea, West Ham and Milwall and Milwall

Or Something Like that not to sure of the three names at the end though

• 42

In Brentfords fair city Where the girls are so pretty I first stuck my finger up molly malone As she wheeled her wheelbarrow Through hounslow and harrow Crying BRENTFORD, da da da, BRENTFORD, da da da

My [old] favorite.

• 43

sadly i think the only chant that i really feel possesive of is "It's all your fault!" - which seemed to start at a home game v Swindon a couple of years ago when Gremink had a nightmare [almost as much a one as i've had trying to spell his name]. ---

Actually it was Barnet away a few years back after there keeper came out and missed the ball

• 44

True, but in the 'relatively' old days we only sang it when it was actually the keeper's fault. It loses its power if it's used when he's blameless. IMHO.

What is the nursery rhyme build a bonfire?

Build a bonfire, build a bonfire, Put the teachers on the top, Put the prefects in the middle, And burn the blooming lot.