What are Baumrinds 3 styles of parenting?
Parenting has got to be one of the toughest jobs out there. So many decisions to make, so many opinions to contend with, so many options for how to handle things—how are we supposed to know what’s “right”? And then dealing with the consequences our parenting choices can have on our kids—talk about pressure. For years, researchers have been tangling with this critical (and, let’s be honest, often confusing) topic. While there are definitely nuances to every approach, psychologists generally recognize four parenting styles that influence how you raise your child—and how well adjusted your child may become. Show
Baumrind’s Parenting StylesDiana Baumrind, a developmental psychologist, first laid out these types of parenting styles in the 1960s through her research at the University of California, Berkeley. She conducted a series of studies that looked at people’s approach to parenting based on the demands they placed on their children and their responsiveness to their kids’ needs, and identified three primary parenting styles. A fourth parenting style was added later by two other researchers.
These four parenting styles—which still form the foundation for much of today’s research into childhood development—make up a broad spectrum of behavior that explains how most parents care for their kids. Of course, every parent-child relationship is unique and every day is different, but chances are, your natural mode of parenting falls somewhere among Baumrind’s parenting styles. Not sure which of the different parenting styles represents your own? Find out more about the parenting styles below to see which one fits you. Authoritarian Parenting Style“In authoritarian parenting, you’re saying ‘I don’t trust you to manage things, but rather than doing things for you, I’m going to force you to do what’s right,’” says Alyson Schafer, a Toronto-based therapist and author of Honey, I Wrecked the Kids. Parents are the rulers of the roost—and it’s their way or the highway. This is an old-school type of parenting, where rules are strict and don’t leave much room for interpretation, punishments are swiftly meted out, and kids rarely have a say in making decisions or choosing things for themselves. What authoritarian parenting looks like Effects of authoritarian parenting Schafer says children raised through authoritarian parenting tend to:
Authoritative Parenting StyleOf the parenting styles, this is often considered the gold standard—the happy medium between the strict authoritarian parenting style and the permissive approach. Authoritative parents do set limits for their children, but are also responsive to their needs. Consider it a firm but nurturing style. “Parents operate like CEOs, but in a friendly way that is respectful and allows the child to learn from consequences,” Schafer says. What authoritative parenting looks like Effects of
authoritative parenting Authoritative parenting is said to help children:
Permissive Parenting StyleThis is the most lax of the parenting styles. Permissive parents act more like their child’s friend, rather than taking a leadership role in the family. Parents are super-responsive to their kids’ wants and needs, but don’t want to make rules or do anything that’ll be unpopular with their children. “These parents don’t know how to set a limit,” Schafer says. “But it’s okay to set limits—you don’t get to have M&Ms for breakfast.” What permissive parenting looks like Effects of permissive parenting Walfish paints a bleaker picture of the most lenient of parenting styles. In the worst-case scenario, without boundaries, consequences, realistic expectations, any structure or protocol for appropriate behavior, she says, kids with permissive parents tend to:
Neglectful Parenting StyleWhile not one of the original Baumrind parenting styles, neglectful parenting was added to the paradigm in 1983 by Eleanor Maccoby, a professor of psychology at Stanford University, and her colleague John Martin. In neglectful parenting, parents don’t respond to a child’s needs or place any demands on their child. In its most extreme form, this type of parenting often leads to the authorities getting involved, since neglectful parenting puts a child in danger. What neglectful parenting looks like Effects of neglectful parenting
What Determines Our Styles of Parenting?So which of the parenting styles are you? Whether it’s the the super-strict style of the authoritarian approach or the indulgent permissive philosophy, parenting styles are largely influenced by your own experiences growing up. “Most parents have never deeply thought about their motivations and their belief system, and why they parent they way they do,” Schafer says. “But we all have a history, and we have to unpack some of the stories of our childhood and compare them with common sense and science to come up with the right approach.” You may decide to follow in your parents’ footsteps—or veer in the exact opposite direction. “We look at what motivated and what didn’t motivate us, and think about what we needed but didn’t get,” Schafer says. “Someone whose father ruled with an iron fist may swing to other extreme and doesn’t know how to set a limit.” Your individual character is also an important factor in determining which of the parenting styles you end up using. “Our own personality type impacts everything we do,” Schafer says. “If you seek control, you’ll have a more controlling style and will be reactive to situations where you feel like you’re losing control. If you tend to look for approval or comfort, you’ll probably be more lax and lenient—even permissive or chaotic.” Dealing With Different Parenting StylesMany of us are doing this parenting thing with a partner by our side. And just as we don’t always see eye to eye on what to watch on Netflix or baby names, we may not always be on the same page with our parenting styles. But that’s not necessarily a bad thing. “Parents have this idea that they have to parent on the same page, but that’s not true,” Schafer says. “Every parent is different, and children need to learn that different people treat them differently.” If you and your partner have different parenting styles, Schafer recommends keeping any conflict away from the kids. “What isn’t healthy for children is when parents argue about their parenting in front of them, or if parents undermine each other. The rule should be: Whoever starts the discipline, finishes the discipline.” In many ways, having different approaches in the same family can be an advantage, since it gives you the opportunity to embrace the strengths of two different parenting styles. “If the kids [tend to listen well] and always stay in bed when dad does tuck-ins, let him be the tuck-in guy,” Schafer says. “If you’re more patient, you can help during homework.” That’s the surest way to set up your family for success. Of course, different families have different ways of doing things—but these parenting styles give us some good insight into the type of approach that helps raise a healthy, happy, well-adjusted child. Because at the end of the day, that’s all we really want. Please note: The Bump and the materials and information it contains are not intended to, and do not constitute, medical or other health advice or diagnosis and should not be used as such. You should always consult with a qualified physician or health professional about your specific circumstances. What is the basis of Diana Baumrind's theory on parenting?Diana Baumrind's Pillar Theory emphasizes a child's behavior is associated with parenting styles as they grow and interact with new people. Parenting styles have always been perceived to be a major factor in children's development.
How many parenting styles did Baumrind identify?On the basis of home observations, laboratory observations, and parent interviews, Baumrind identified three parenting styles associated with these three patterns of child behavior.
Which of Baumrind's parenting styles is considered to be the best?The Authoritative Parenting Style
This one of the 3 parenting styles is Baumrind's ideal parenting style. Baumrind views authoritative parenting as a sort of middle ground, taking the best from the authoritarian parenting style, high control, and the best from the permissive parenting style, high responsiveness.
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